sara gale

today/yesterday..

today/yesterday feels like one of those days where one should just sit around and weep for a little bit because his or her world isn’t going exactly as planned. today/yesterday i rejected a birthday breakfast invitation from my boyfriend and his brother who’s birthday is today. ever since one of my best friends told me she was going to vegas in october i couldn’t be more thrilled and devastated at the same time. it’s been a little over a year since the last time i saw her so of course i wanna go. the only flaw is that i just started my job and it would make me look bad if i called off. then again how often am i going to see her. ugh idk what to do. i’ve been feeling disconnected from the world lately. today/yesterday i had my first nervous breakdown in months. i’ve been making small problems into big ones and that’s not me at all. i really need a break from this place. i wanna go home

insomnia, depression

if that even exists. lately things have been going downhill for me. well sort of. i got dropped from my classes because i was unable to pay for enrollment on time. sucks right. its about 2:23am and i cant seem to get some shut eye. doing nothing + nothing on tv = an immense amount of thinking. thinking about what? life. school. work. relationship. future. family. ugh especially family. at the moment its more my relationship though. in my past relationships around this time would usually be my breaking point. seriously ask anyone thats close to me. not too long ago i had a mild nervous breakdown from thinking too much. i tend to do that a lot. anyways i just needed to clear my head and take it all down. idk lately something has been beating me up emotionally and i feel like i havent been being myself. i never thought school would hit me this hard. i need somebody to talk to. anybody. gonna try to get some sleep.

night 

@ the global bean

it’s almost 9pm and i’m just chillin here all by my lonesome sippin on some hazelnut latte with ?? shots. shet i should have asked how much junior put in here otherwise i’m gonna have insomnia once again. i have to pee but i don’t want to leave my drink nor the macbook alone even though someone is going to watch it from a distance. gahh! anyways it feels nice to get out of the house after painting for 4 straight days. bathroom is almost done and purrddy! i wish i knew more people out here so they can enjoy open mic night with me over hurrr.

soo umm yeahh

wow 2nd time in the same week!! anyways how are you all doing? me. well i’ve been great. just not today. i just realize i’ve been living my life like i’m in vegas. i really need to stop but it’s just so hard when it all follows you everyday. whenever i forget about vegas coincidentally someone texts me and it always reminds me of the good times i had when i was there and it makes me want to move back every single time. i mean if i do leave here i’m not leaving much behind except my wonderful boyfriend. but then again he’s thinking of moving to sd when he’s done with school so it all works out. i just don’t want a reason to stay if it does come down to that. i mean what’s going to happen if i move back sooner than expected? will things be the same or will it be different after a couple years?

in class

wow i haven’t been on this thing in forever!! last night i had the worst insomnia ever. i was up until about 5am and had to wake up 3 and a half hours later for class. i made it to school with a close parking spot!! yess!! with 25 min to spare!! heyooo!! so i decided to talk to my advisor for classes in the summer and fall and look what happens the door is locked :( it had the frkn times when the advising center will be open 8am to 7pm. wtf!! dumb school. so now i’m totally confused with this portfolio ish and i left my thumb drive at home so i can’t do much work grrrrrrrrrrr

I’m proud of the Filipino’s that are proud to be Filipino.

fuckyeahstreetwear:

Especially the ones that aren’t afraid to speak Tagalog even though they think they sound weird speaking it. I mean hey just because you’re in the US that doesn’t mean you can’t speak your own language, you’re a born Filipino, be proud of it. There’s nothing to be embarrass about being Filipino, we’re good at everything. And the ones that aren’t afraid to talk about Filipino stuff, we have the most unique culture, and we should be proud of it, if we try to be like everybody else then we won’t stand out. All Filipino’s should put their head above the clouds and stand straight because if it wasn’t for us, then the World wouldn’t be as cool(:

bold what you have, italicize what you want.

jespiritu:

rashh:

1. A cell phone.
2. A hair straightener.
3. Your own computer.
4. Your own car.
5. Chanel/Dior/Gucci sunglasses.
6. A designer purse.
7. A boyfriend/girlfriend.
8. A curling iron.
9. Every Fall Out Boy CD.
10. Something from American Eagle.
11. Something from Hot Topic.
12. Something from Hollister.
13. Something from Abercrombie.
14. A pet.
15. Some type of trophy/award
16. Full/Queen-size bed.
17. King-size bed.
18. An iPod.
19. Something from a professional team.
20. Ever had more than $100 at a time.
21. Monster, Full Throttle, Amp, Red Bull, etc. in your fridge.
22. Something Green Day.
23. Xanga. (had one)
24. Myspace.
25. Makeup.
26. A desk in your room.
27. A hill in your backyard.
28. DDR.
29. A pair of skis.
30. An alarm clock.
31. A pair of ice skates.
32. Rollerblades.
33. A treadmill.
34. Your own phone line.
35. AIM.
36. Yahoo!
37. MSN.
38. ICQ.
39. AOL.
40. Perfume/cologne.
41. Bath lotion.
42. Necklaces and bracelets.
43. A journal/diary.
44. Yogurt and peaches in your fridge.
45. X’s in your screen name.
46. A birthday in September.
47. A famous relative.
48. A relative in a different state.
49. A disowned relative.
50. A relative that lives in Florida.
51. Your own bathroom.
52. Your own band.
53. Any rock band shirts.
54. A guitar.
55. A hammock.
56. A basketball hoop.
57. A soccer net.
58. A bike.
59. An electric scooter.
60. A minivan.
61. A V.C. Andrews book.
62. A friend that does drugs/alcohol/smokes.
63. A locker at school.
64. A baby.
65. Sparkly blue nail polish.
66. A “Vote for Pedro” shirt.
67. The movie “40 Year Old Virgin”.
68. A promise ring.
69. A pool table.
70. A swimming pool/hot tub.
71. Trampoline.
72. Livejournal.
73. Flip flops.
74. Steve Madden shoes.
75. The Sims 2.
76. A ping pong table.
77. An air hockey table.
78. A basement.
79. Converse,
80. Construction paper.
81. Markers, crayons, etc..
82. Coloring books.
83. A nice singing voice.
84. GameCube.(had)
85. Xbox.
86. Playstation.
87. PS2.(had)
88. PSP.(had)
89. Some type of disease.
90. Rose Red movie.
91. VCR/DVD player.
92. A mom or dad.
93. An older brother.
94. An older sister.
95. A younger brother.
96. A younger sister.
97. A sled.
98. A lake/pond/river/ocean near your house.
99. Friends who like you.

i guess..

things happen for a reason. some good some bad. in my case its depressing. i guess karma really is a bitz. bad karma that is.

so i’ve been out here for exactly 2 months and 7 days and i had come to realization that when i lived in las vegas, i was actually somebody. i never noticed it but its true. people came to me for advice which i never ever knew i could give. really good advice i have to admit. i was a progressing dancer and still going on. a cook which people enjoyed because they would ask for me to cook for them and which i try to pursue as a career. maybe. if i have the patience :D. i had a decent job. decent but not good enough to pay for my bills. most of all i had the most amazing friends. only a hand full i trust.

living here in silverdale, wa made me come to the conclusion of my true purpose of coming here in the first place. this quiet, relaxing, *ahem boring place helped me notice that i take advantage of my surroundings. this move is suppose to help me become a better person than i was in the past. moreover grow out of my old habits of sleeping in, drinking tooooo much, smoking a lot, rudely fight with someone without reason, and most of all respect myself. out with the old and in with the new. brand new.

gosh joey is right. letting everything out feels sooo good

1 DOWN 2 TO GO

not too long ago i had 1 of 3 cigarettes my sister had given me before she had left for vegas. it was relieving from what had happened a couple hours before. today was the 3rd time i broke down and cried my eyes out since i’ve been here. it was probably the fact that i’m missing out on life and fun. no more social life for sara gale. goodbye sin city hello wilderness. seriously, i’ve never been this depressed in a long while. the last time was i think at eisha’s house. i forgot who it was i was venting to but im pretty sure it was tommy joie and sid. i love them to death. but anyways i’ve thought about my decision of quitting long and hard. there are a hand full of people who have already told me to stop quitting but im just not listening. i had finally realized what i want to do now. maybe if i stop smoking all of these dilemmas in my life will disappear. not only am i doing this for my family and friends who care so much about me but im gonna do it more for myself. its going to be hard but i know i can do it. its only mind over matter. if my bff and future roomie can do it so can i. good night and sweet dreams

wow to my life

its been exactly 2 months and 2 day since i’ve worked..this feeling of not making money or going to school sucks..i hate bumbing around like i’ve been doing..i dont know what to fcuking do with my life..hah what life actually..my life back in vegas seemed so perfect but chillin with 2 different fams during the same week even weekend was the hardest part of my life..since i’ve been here in the wonderful world of washington i’ve been developing mild depression, moping around etc..in my opinion i’d say this move was the worst decision my mother has ever made..i love her to death but this was a waste..a waste of time..a waste of money..but she brought us here to change..change our main priorities..i guess this is good for us..all i know is im coming back to vegas for sure when im done with school..CULINARY SCHOOL HERE I COME!! im gonna make the most of it out here..its gonna be all work no play..if i have to cram my school schedule to get my credits done faster so be it..